Archive for August, 2008

Concerning Humans.

Always being hungry to reduce others just to feel tremendous for that moment,
Not caring that those others need a huge amount of time to feel good, good not great about them selves again.
Having prejudgements and putting people in small boxes, something I can understand.. with which other things do they have to reveal with then?.
Yet I have made the decision quite alot of years ago; not wanting to be like that.
There just has to be more to life than admiring Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who both just chased down temporary dreams..
Because there’s gotta be more than even that.
Also than chasing them down to capture every moment of their life and feeling satisfied for the picture you have of her picking her nose.
It’s not about Angelina, Brad or whoever it’s about you..
As we go through life we’ll see that there is so much that we don’t understand.
Things that can contain life questions, lovelife issues and depressive moments..
Yet the things we do know is that things don’t always go the way we planned.
People often think that they do not deserve the good or the bad things in life.
There are so much expectations, so much we must be that we forget how to be.. we.
Forgetting trusting your own heart instead of trying to be a part of some big plan others expect you to join.
Everybody wants to be liked, to be found nice and pretty, to be around people that have something in common with them…
So the question is not to be or not to be but why trying so hard to bring others down..
Your neighbour, that kid with those glasses, the girl with a size plus or the next hollywood celebrity.
Does it really matter?

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I’ve had this on my mind for a pretty long time and I finally managed to write it all down.
Something I will share with you.
Just think about it, You can be happy without that all.

Tien.

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Someone Shot Nostalgia In The Back…

 

It’s August.

August is damnation in my calendar. Now it all makes sense…

It’s 3 years with this one that August turns into the worst month of the year…

The longest days I’ve ever known.

The first year this particular month became Hell, was caused by my engagement to the guy I had been with for years being broken. Everything I had thought to be so secure and certain, was gone.

Then the next year, I had bounced off from that and had everything going my way regarding training to achieve my goals. Then, 20 days in August, I lost everything once again. Had an accident that threatened not only to end my dreams and everything I had been fighting for, but also a part of my body.

And so not to break the tradition, I’ve been a mess this month. Probably weeks before August started, but eh, same thing.

I am a 10 year old’s messy room. I dont know what to do with anything except for circus.

Thankfully, I still have that area of clarity in my life that I can hold on to.

But the rest is as blurry as ever. I dont know about the choices I’ve made, or if I should even make any more.

Maybe I should take a trip like Tien. Actually, getting in the school in Canada might be good for my mind too.

Getting away and all that.

Im going to find a way to make this better though. Im not like I used to be years ago. I actually find solutions to my problems and not only dwell on them :p

..::Lain::..

Road/Backpack Europtrip’08.

First of all before I start my real story I want to mention that I only am writing this blog for Lain and a little bit for myself as a memory. Lain asked me to take alot of pictures.. I have took alot of pictures of the views we had.. the pictures where I am on are mostly weird and crappy.. The ones I like.. are pictures taken of my back, I looked horrible and exhausted and honestly I mostly even didn’t tried to look well enough for pictures. The pictures I am posting here are the ones I think that they are okay, that they can go through.. the ones I am not posting are just odd pictures of me doing things.. And also I am not posting pictures of the two guys that went with me because that’s pretty personal for them. I will try not to post a long blog.

EuroTrip 2008.

The past month I have spent in 20 awesome countries in Europe, we didn’t stayed in them all because there was just not enough time to explore them all and meet people in every country. Our plans have changed alot, the first pland was flying out to vencia in Italy and just walking around with a hudge backpack there..At the last moment we cancelled our flight and decided to go by car.. it would cost a little bit more money but then we knew for sure that we would get back at the right time. Some countries I liked better than others and in some it was just impossible to make clear to the people there what you wanted.. for the simple reason of that they don’t speak english.. or just a little bit.. In those ones.. we had to talk with our hand and feet and legs and arms and just really weird things.. I am a girl who was confused about the most of the things in life and I tried to find myself in every possible way.. I used to live life with Peter Pan and The Easter Bunny in my head and trying to know alot of knowledge and wisdom about the things I probably would never need in life.. And Kind of I am still like that.. but my view on life and people and alot of different things has changed alot and I am not that confused anymore about certain questions. Although this trip was very exhausting.. and we didn’t slept much, we basically followed the rainclouds and each time it was really hard to find a place to stay because we didn’t went to big cities.. that was a choice we made.. there’s always time to visit the big cities but you never get to see how people REALLY live and how life goes in little places..
So anyway, if we were lucky we slept in huts and if we were really lucky we could sleep in houses.. there were no hotels and if by chance we did found one.. we still didn’t want to spend the night there.. then we just took the risk of sleeping outside or in the car if we didn’t left it somewhere to go on walking. As to me I speak Dutch, English, German, Croatian, Some Japanese, Some Spanish and Some French, Chris speaks them all very well just leaving out Croatian and Japanese and Benjamin his English and German is great.. So basically we managed it. Food.. that depended on if we could find any stores.. and when we found them.. we could spent just each €5,- on food since we were by car we had to buy gass aswell.. lucky it was a diesel car so we spent like €150,- on 1600KM.. Also we had to buy vignettes in some countries because only with a vignette you can go through that country and some of those were also pretty expensive. So.. that’s it.. kind of.. a blog without personal details. I’ll tell you about it more Lian.. I just feel like.. I have wrote already way too much =P.
And if I could do it again I would definaitly go because this time I had my doubts but I did go and I was with the people that matter and the people I love alot.

Some pictures I like & think they’re well enough to post:

Hut where we stayed because it rained alot.. it’s the back of it actually I didn’t like the front that much.

My back again =P.. sorry.

Those stairs were pretty unstable.

Really cute house where we spent two nights.

TIEN ♥.