Someone Shot Nostalgia In The Back…

 

It’s August.

August is damnation in my calendar. Now it all makes sense…

It’s 3 years with this one that August turns into the worst month of the year…

The longest days I’ve ever known.

The first year this particular month became Hell, was caused by my engagement to the guy I had been with for years being broken. Everything I had thought to be so secure and certain, was gone.

Then the next year, I had bounced off from that and had everything going my way regarding training to achieve my goals. Then, 20 days in August, I lost everything once again. Had an accident that threatened not only to end my dreams and everything I had been fighting for, but also a part of my body.

And so not to break the tradition, I’ve been a mess this month. Probably weeks before August started, but eh, same thing.

I am a 10 year old’s messy room. I dont know what to do with anything except for circus.

Thankfully, I still have that area of clarity in my life that I can hold on to.

But the rest is as blurry as ever. I dont know about the choices I’ve made, or if I should even make any more.

Maybe I should take a trip like Tien. Actually, getting in the school in Canada might be good for my mind too.

Getting away and all that.

Im going to find a way to make this better though. Im not like I used to be years ago. I actually find solutions to my problems and not only dwell on them :p

..::Lain::..

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